It's our jobs as spouses to protect the hearts of our loved ones.
To nurture them...
In doing so; The HARDEST PART
Is forgiving someone for a hurt they NEVER apologized for.
"Sometimes in life we have to learn to accept an apology in which we never receive to manifest the understanding that we've always wanted".
~Pastor CJ Allen~
We tend to have an unbending, almost animalistic protective nature when it comes to our kids but when it comes to our spouses, it’s different.
You would quite literally die for your kids.
And though we like to believe that we would do the same for our spouses, the truth is...
We can’t even handle the painful words our spouses dish out during conflict, nonetheless take a bullet to the chest!
So... How do you kill your pride, bite the bullet and be the BIGGER person when tensions are high?
Keep Your Peace, Draw the line!
Ladies, I don't mean to go out hollering at your husband with your hand on your hip saying,
"I'm drawing the LINE! I have had ENOUGH!" 😜
No...
John 8:1-11 talks of a time in the bible in which a woman was caught in the act of adultery...
Her punishment? To be stoned by her people...
Long story short, the Pharisees and the people harassed Jesus asking him what they should do with her?
And JESUS; through all the chaos, just kept drawing a line in the sand before him...
With all the peace and patience of the Father in the flesh; He spoke to the people and said...
"Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone"...
Truth is...
If you're reading this, you've probably hurt your spouse too...
Whatever argument you are remembering right now hurt them too!
If we are to model our hearts behind Christ. Should you cast a stone at the one you love?
KNOWING that you, too, are not perfect either?
And that; at some point in your marriage, the shoe will be on the other foot...
And it will be them holding the stone?
Jesus love for us is a story of the ages...
Known through generations as the oldest running and most inspiring storybook ever written!
Gotta be for a reason, right?
Practical Applications
Okay...
You're saying...
"Well that's all fun and games but what things can I actually do in my life; in the middle of chaos, to keep the peace"?
You need some, what I like to call...
Practice Training Exercises
When my spouse is angry, I forgive him for his wrong against me by going about my NORMAL day!
Not only do I ignore the tantrum that just took place but I kill that spirit with JOY!
Basically...
I do the same daily routine only NOW I am doing it singing all through the house!
With overly-demonstrated INTENTIONAL joy!
And no...
You’re not going to feel like doing this.
You’re going to be mad...
Heck, y’all just got into a fight. Who walks around smiling and singing after something like that?
We do.
Because we know that we have a choice.
To be angry or be at peace is completely and utterly YOUR decision!
You're patience is your ministry...
When you do this, you subconsciously give permission for the other person to the same...
To give up on the spirit that is trying to keep them "in the fight" against you...
It's kind of like, "monkey see, monkey do" of the spirit realm...
They see you, in all of your exhorbant jolliness...
And it's like an invitation for their little girl/boy to come out and play too!
So put yourself in a happy place.
In your living room...
Put on a comedy that always slays... and put it on loud as you can stand it but loud enough to resonate through the house...
And LAUGH...
Laugh like you've NEVER SEEN the dang show before!!!
In your bedroom...
Put your wedding song on repeat on your bluetooth speaker and hide the phone!
And LEAVE to another room...
In the kitchen...
Bake some cookies, or make something that smells the WHOLE house up...
Then leave them out for them to eat...
In the laundry room...
Wash your blanket.
(Has to be the blanket because they smell up the room, feel amazing fresh out of the dryer and I don't know a single person who doesn't absolutely love the feel of fresh linens.)
Then put it on the bed...
And leave...
All of these things are ways to hug someone without actually being in their physical presence.
You appeal to all of their senses and remind them of you through each one...
Through your wedding song... You appeal to his auditory memory that links the song to your wedding day.
A hug through sound...
Through the blanket, you appeal to their tactile memory, and remind them of the warmth of you both under the covers on a lovely evening...
A hug through touch...
Through the smells of the kitchen, you remind them of your presence in it and ignite their olfactory senses when they eat...
A kiss through food...
Sound crazy???
It's worked for me...
And what's even cooler about this...
Technique, if you will...
Is that it actually trains your spouse to not begin a quarrel with you in the first place...
Not that they are bullying you but it's hard to be mean to someone who is so annoyingly happy.
(I keep imagining it looking ALOT like me slapping a Tele-Tubby for some reason - don't ask 🤷🏻♀️)
Anyway Fam-Lei...
I hope you like this "love-hack" of sorts and that it helps keep at least ONE Happy Wife in this Nappy Life!!!
Until next time! I love you!
✌️TWO-DOZE✌️
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